My Accidental Drug Deal
by LovelyTomorrow
Summary: Bella tries to get a creative gift for Edward for their wedding, but it does not go as smoothly as she hopes. Just meant for laughs.
1. Chapter 1

How I Scored an Pound of Ganja in an Attempt to Get My Fiance the Perfect Wedding Present

AN: Okay, please, no one take this ultra-seriously. It was just an idea that struck me as funny as I was thinking of the Buffyverse and Twilightverse and their differences. I'm sure at least part of it has crossed the minds of those who are fans of both. You'll see what I mean...

Just so I make myself clear, this is NOT a crossover; I don't own Twilight or Buffy, and I do not advocate or criticize ganja use...I just think it's freaking funny in this particular context. Please, enjoy...

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I was spending time with Jessica and Lauren. I guess that was my first mistake. But Edward and the rest of the Cullens were hunting, and we'd just sent out our wedding invitations so I felt everyone I knew needed some type of explanation. Angela had promised to come along, thankfully.

I met all three of them at a sushi restaurant in Port Angeles. I was a few minutes late, as my truck was playing that game when it says that the gas tank is full until you smack the dashboard and then it shows that its almost empty. Edward would not hear about that game. I was keeping my damn truck.

They were already giggling when I arrived, but they stopped when they saw me. I had a distinct feeling that I had been the topic of conversation. _Wonderful_. Angela chose to acknowledge my presence first, "Hey, Bella." She looked sympathetic, as if she knew I was in for a rough meal.

"Hi," I mumbled. Lauren had fixed her eyes on me in that way she was so fond of. One wouldn't call it rude, explicitly. It was an odd combination of pretend calm mixed with confusion and bitterness--the non-verbal expression of, "I just don't get it. She isn't that pretty."

Jessica's expression was similar, if not with more confusion. Even Angela seemed a little wary. I understood. Edward's and my engagement was still surprising to me, let alone those on the outside. "Hey, Bella," Jessica tried a smile.

They were sitting at a table for four. Lauren and Jessica were on either side of Angela, so I sat across from her.

"We already ordered appetizers," Lauren said, looking down at her menu, "We weren't sure you were coming."

"Yeah, sorry," I looked to Angela. "My truck needed gas." She nodded, smiling.

Jessica shook her head, "I don't know how you drive that thing, Bella. It looks like it's ready to die."

"Are you driving it to Alaska?" Lauren raised an eyebrow at me.

"Uh, maybe," I felt uncomfortable talking about Alaska with them. I wasn't sure what was safe for them to know.

The table fell silent for a second. I was dying for one of them to bring up the wedding so that we could get it over with, but I wasn't sure if they were waiting for me to do it first. Or maybe they hadn't gotten their invitations yet. Maybe they didn't know. I put my hand over my ring and considered for a second to take it off, but then viciously decided against it. I hoped Alice hadn't seen that.

"Bella?" Angela's voice broke me out of my thought process. I looked up at her. "You want to see my menu? I know what I'm getting."

"Sure, yeah, thanks," I reached over to her to take her menu with my left hand. Second mistake.

"Oh, my God," Jessica nearly fainted, placing a hand on her chest with eyes wide.

"What?" Lauren suddenly seemed interested, perhaps there was some juicy gossip.

I had opened and begun to read the menu. Everything sounded made up. Spider Roll? Diamond Roll? Dragon Roll? What ever happened to chicken?

"Bella! Your ring!" Jessica was screeching. "Let me see it!" She grabbed my hand hard and pulled it towards her.

"Oh!" I let out as she inspected my hand. Lauren and Angela moved to look at it too. I examined my unpolished, dirt filled fingernails and wished they would give me back my hand.

"Oh my God," Lauren sounded more surprised than impressed.

"Bella, it's beautiful," Angela was in awe.

"Thanks," I blushed. Jessica let up on my hand, and I pulled it back quickly.

Lauren and Angela both sat back down. "Wow," Jessica shook her head.

"So, you're really, like, getting married?" Lauren narrowed her eyes at me, as if she expected me to break character any second and reveal some hidden cameras.

I shrugged, "I'm really getting married." I didn't shudder and made a mental note to tell Edward about it later. "Didn't you guys get your invitations?"

Angela shook her head, "Yeah. August 13th, right?"

I was about to nod, when Lauren put a hand up, "But you're really serious about that."

"Completely," I bit my lip. I had to, "Did you think it was a joke?"

Jessica wrinkled her nose a little, "Kind of. I mean, I know you and Edward were dating for a while, but...married?"

"Yeah," I tried for some laughter and honesty, "It took a bit of convincing."

Lauren seemed comforted by that, "You had to convince him."

Angela looked to her, a little shocked at her blatant joy at my perceived shortcoming. I let out a short, audible breath and smiled a little, determined not to let someone as forgettable as Lauren get under my skin. "Well," I smiled a little, "Not exactly."

Lauren snarled a little, but Angela intercepted the conversation, "That's so great, Bella. I mean, that you've found that guy so young. You'll have so much time to be together."

_If you only knew_. I grinned, "Thanks, Angela."

"Do you have your dress?" Jessica perked up. "I was watching E!, and they did a whole special on the fifty greatest wedding dresses ever created. Oh, my God. I loved Jessica Simpson's. It was stunning."

"Oh," I shrugged, "I have a dress."

"I saw that," Lauren pointed to Jess, "Did you see Sarah Michelle Gellar's? It was so classic and simple. Really elegant like that. Better than that ridiculous thing they had her wear for _Buffy_."

Jessica laughed. Angela and I just looked at each other with blank stares. I'd never seen _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, which I guess was ironic, considering, but I'd never been a big fan of violence or gore. Clearly, though, the conversation had shifted from my imminent nuptials, and for that I was thrilled. "Well, it was Angel's fantasy. She wouldn't actually wear that."

"Still!" Lauren leaned forward, resting her head on her hands. "You're marrying this sexy, century years old vampire and you wear that tulle monster?! I don't think so. She needed something with some slink."

I perked up, "Wait. She marries a vampire? Isn't she a good guy?"

Lauren threw a snotty, "She's a girl," my way.

Jessica rolled her eyes, "She doesn't actually marry him; it's just a dream. And he's a good vampire. He has a soul."

I perked up more, "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Jessica nodded. "He doesn't kill people anymore."

"But he used to?" I was getting too excited, I knew. Angela was looking at me like I was going to leave her stranded on a desert island.

"Before he had a soul," Jessica explained, and Lauren sighed. "And a little while after that." She paused, before explaining further, "He thought that it wasn't so bad if he only killed people who were criminals."

_Holy crow._ "You don't say," I tried to sound disinterested.

"Do you know what you want, Bella?" Angela tried.

"Uhm, no," I looked back to the menu that I'd been neglecting. "Could I just get whatever you're getting. This is all Greek to me."

"It's Japanese," Lauren sneered.

"Sure, Bella," Angela nodded.

"Thanks," I smiled. Their appetizer arrived. It was green and looked slightly prickly. I decided to stay away.

A few minutes later we had ordered, and our food was there. Our waitress gave us a little demonstration on how to eat with chopsticks, but it looked far too graceful for me to even attempt. I settled on using my hands. The plate in front of me looked normal enough. It was salmon sushi. I had eaten salmon before, just never raw. Angela swore I would like it, though. They all began to dig into their dishes, expertly picking up their multi-colored raw fish with their chopsticks.

Cautiously, I placed a pink fish in my mouth and tried to determine the positives of it taste. It was alright. It was a little cold for me, and chewy, but the flavor was tolerable. I wouldn't want to live on it forever though. I would miss meat.

I thought of Edward. I knew it didn't really compare to what he had to go through everyday, but I would understand that perfectly in a short amount of time. I thought of what he was doing at that exact moment. Stalking some grazing deer? Sinking his teeth into a feisty mountain lion? That made me speak to Jessica again. Third mistake.

"What does he eat?" I spit out after swallowing my salmon.

She pursed her lips and looked at me. "Dennis Quaid?"

I furrowed my brow. Were they talking about Dennis Quaid? "No. That guy from the show. The..." my voice got habitually lower, "...the vampire?"

"Why?" Lauren sighed heavily.

"Well," I sighed, trying to form a logical explanation. "I mean, you said he doesn't kill people anymore, but he still needs blood to live, right?" They all looked at me, wondering why on earth I would still be thinking about this. "So, I assume they don't starve him, right? So what does he eat, er, drink? Is it animals?"

Jessica shrugged, "Yeah. Mostly pig's blood. Sometimes cow. Special occasions, otter." She smiled at Lauren, and they laughed at some inside joke.

"Pigs?" I repeated confused. "He hunts pigs?" I tried to get the image of Edward chasing a pig in my head. It was too funny to be close to reality.

Lauren scoffed, "He doesn't hunt them. He buys it."

My eyes grew wide before I could help it. "He buys _blood_?"

"Yeah," Jessica shrugged. "From butcher shops."

I thought about that for a second, "Seriously?"

"Well, its a television show, so no, not seriously," Lauren said.

Angela was looking at me with the same suspicious face that I had given to Edward the first few times we'd spoke. _Okay, I know something weird is going on, because people do not act like this. I'm sure of it._ But I could not care about that, "And they just let him buy it? They don't ask any questions?"

"I guess not," Jessica shrugged. "I mean, they're getting paid for stuff they were just going to throw out. I guess they figure it's for some weird religious ceremony or something."

"Huh," I nodded. That was it. Ever since Edward had given me his hand-me-down charm, which I had a sneaking suspicion was a real diamond, I had been looking to find him the perfect gift to reciprocate. It was an incredibly difficult job, as he had or could buy everything he could possibly want. But was it possible that he had not heard of this idea?

Granted, I did not know how realistic _Buffy _actually was. Would a butcher really sell me his leftover blood without questioning it? It was worth a try. Worst case scenario, he said that he wasn't offering that or called me crazy and told me to leave. That was okay. I just wouldn't give him my name. It wouldn't be traced to me. It wouldn't be traced to the Cullens. No Volturi needed.

And, oh, if it was true. They could have blood constantly. They wouldn't need to hunt nearly as frequently. They wouldn't need to go so long without it that their eyes turned black. They could even put it in a travel coffee cup and bring it to school. It would certainly make life safer for their classmates, and I was sure it would help Jasper wean himself off humans if he could take a sip of blood whenever the wind hit him the wrong way. It was perfect.

We finished up our meal and split the bill four ways, even though Jessica and Lauren's plates were much more expensive than Angela's and mine. I didn't care, though, because I was leaving the restaurant and heading straight to the nearest butcher shop I could find.

Fourth mistake.

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AN: Yeah, so, Angel and Edward have a hell of a lot of similarities. I don't know how I overlooked it for so long. Hey, those of you who haven't seen Buffy at all? Maybe checking it out now? Yeah? Well, either way, reviews are cool. Ooh, and the whole thing's written, so I'm tempted to post it all, but I'm not going to until I get some reviews, so...


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hey, here's chapter two. Not even an hour posted and there were two reviews. I know it's been said before, but I feel the need to say it again: Twilight fans rock! Enjoy...

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The nearest butcher shop smelled terrible. I tried to keep my nose from scrunching up in disgust. This was for Edward. I could endure. It was in Port Angeles and had a little wooden sign reading, "Butch's Butcher's." There was a little bell on the door that dinged when I came in. A huge fan in the ceiling made the room seem very small and imposing. I hoped Alice was too preoccupied to be checking up on me. No one was behind the counter. I bit my lip, "Um, hello?" No answer. After a deep sigh, I tried again, crossing my arms over my chest, "Anyone here?"

"Give me a second!" a large, booming voice sounded although I still couldn't see anyone.

I inhaled quickly, a little frightened. Then, I calmed myself so that Alice wouldn't see me scared. "Okay," I said meekly.

"Yeah, what do you want?" a skinny man appeared wearing a white beater, low, baggy pants, and a red trucker hat.

"Uh, hi," I stammered. "I was just wondering..."

"Yeah?" he crossed his arms.

"Um, do you carry? I mean, are you willing to sell me?" I sighed, trying to find the words, "I was wondering if I could buy something a little unorthodox from you."

He narrowed his eyes, "Unorthodox? I don't sell no house pets if that's what you mean."

I widened my eyes in horror. "No," I shook my head. "Nothing like that. I was wondering if you would sell me some..." _Just say it, Bella. Then you can leave_. "Some blood?"

He narrowed his eyes at first, then nodded, "Pig's blood?"

I sighed in relief, "Yeah. That'd be great. You'll really do that?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "But you gotta come back later. I don't give that stuff out during business hours."

"Okay," I said. "When do you close."

"9:00," he said. "And come alone. I don't need a big crowd of excited teenage brats around."

"I'll come alone," I nodded. "Uh, how much do you want for it?"

"Depends on how much you want?" he shrugged. "How much you want?"

"Oh," I hadn't thought of that, "Well, however much you can give me, I guess."

He shook his head, "Uh uh. I'm not giving that much to a first time customer. Just tell me how much you wanna spend."

I paused for a moment to think of that. This was Edward's wedding present, in a way, and that was a big deal. I still had my useless college fund to spend. I could afford to be a little reckless for Edward. "500?" I gulped. That was a lot of money.

"You asking me or telling me?"

"Oh, sorry," I shook my head. "Telling. I'm telling you. 500. I'll have it for you at 9:00."

"All right, kid," he actually gave a little smile. "You're not going to do anything dangerous with it, are ya?"

I smiled at that. I guess he did think it was for some kind of religious sacrifice or something. "Nope," I smiled as I headed for the door. "I can assure you, I'll be very safe."

As soon as I got home, I left a message on Edward's phone saying that I was going out with Angela tonight and that I wouldn't be home until eleven, so he shouldn't expect me until then. I settled in, shooting an e-mail to my mom about how she shouldn't worry about supplying me with my something new or borrowed or soggy or whatever I was supposed to have, that Alice would take care of everything.

She and Charlie had taken the news incredibly well. I think it finally got in their heads that Edward and I were not going to go away if they ignored us long enough. I had reminded Charlie of how he had defended the Cullens when I'd first asked about them, and how he should be happy that I was joining such a polite, well-mannered family. And I had pointed out to Renee that that feeling she was getting from Edward was exactly what a man in love should be feeling for his object of affection. Of course, they were both a little hesitant, but they'd both accepted the marriage as a good thing and were trying to be supportive.

The hours were going too slowly, and I had no one to entertain me. Lazily, I found myself flipping through an old book of Shakespeare's classic plays and set my alarm to 8:30 when I felt my eyes getting heavy. I fell asleep soon after, the book lying open to _A Midsummer Night's Dream_.

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AN: Next one's ready...just give me some love, and you'll get it.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Wow, I've been getting an amazing response from you guys. Twilight fans are super fantastical. Here's the second to last chapter, inlcuding a bit of delectable Edwardian goodness. Enjoy...

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I waited outside "Butch's Butcher's" for a few minutes until the man from before, I assumed he was Butch, opened the door and let me in. I had my 500 dollars in my pocket and was giddy with excitement. "All right, kid," he moved behind the counter and pulled out a brown paper bag. "Your stuff's in here. Don't take it out until you get home, okay?"

I nodded, "Sure thing."

"Great," he grumbled and handed it to me. It felt lighter than I thought it would. "500?"

"Yeah," I held the bag with one hand and gave him the money with the other. "Thanks."

I watched him count it, then shove it into his own pocket. "Sure. Good doing business with you, kid. When you run out, feel free to come back."

I smiled, "Okay. Thanks again. Bye."

He gave a little salute as I was leaving. I hopped in my truck and placed the Pig's Blood on the passenger side of the car. I didn't want to look at it, because I knew the sight of human blood made me sick; I could only imagine animal blood would be worse. When I pulled up to Charlie's house, it was nearly ten, and I quickly scribbled _Bella's Leftovers: DO NOT TOUCH _on the brown bag and practically skipped inside. Charlie was downstairs watching TV when I got home. He watched me put the bag in the refrigerator and asked how my day was. I responded fine and reciprocated. Everything was apparently fine with him as well. When I dismissed Charlie to go watch more TV, I made my way upstairs to wait for Edward.

"Hello," his quiet voice startled me. Apparently, I wouldn't have to wait very long. I turned to see him standing still by my window.

"Hi!" I said, not thinking, and he instantly brought a long white finger to his smiling lips. "Sorry," I whispered, "Hi."

He smiled wider and had his arms around my waist in a second . I leaned my head on his chest and peered up at him. His eyes were that perfect golden that they turned when he was well fed.

I leaned up and kissed his cheek, "How long have you been waiting?"

He shrugged against me, "Not long. I was expecting to be waiting longer. You're home early."

"Yeah," I nodded. "Angela had to get up early tomorrow." That was true. She had work at seven o'clock the next morning. I was always careful not to lie to him; he could always catch me.

"Hmm," he kissed my forehead. "Did you have fun?"

I shrugged, "Yeah."

"Weren't you meeting with Jessica and Lauren earlier today?" he ran a loving hand up and down my back.

I gave a heavy sigh, and he smiled. "Yes," I wrapped my arms around his neck. "They like your ring."

He brought his face close to mine, "It's not my ring." I rolled my eyes. We'd had that conversation a few times since I'd started wearing Edward's engagement ring in public. I still felt like it belonged to him, but he insisted that it was a gift, and therefore mine.

I stood up on my tiptoes and touched my lips to his. He was smiling when I pulled away, "How was your day?"

He picked me up effortlessly, still smiling, and placed me on my bed, "Boring."

As he laid down next to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, I began running my hands through his wind blown hair, "I don't believe you."

He laughed gently, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Did you bag any mountain lions?" I smiled.

Suddenly, he was very serious, "Bella."

I brought my hand to his cheek, "Sorry. I just want you to be happy."

He took my hand in his, "Bella, you make me a million times happier than any mountain lion ever could." I giggled stupidly at that and closed my eyes, as he pulled me closer to him so that our noses touched. After a few moments of silence, he whispered gently, "Were you reading _A Midsummer Night's Dream_?"

I shrugged, "Barely. I was just leafing through."

"Have you read it before?" he asked.

"Sort of," I admitted. "I know the plot."

He chuckled, "And what are your thoughts on that?"

"Fairies suck," I smiled sleepily. We both laughed quietly together, and he kissed me gently. Suddenly, I remembered something very important and shot up in bed. "I need to talk to Alice."

He seemed surprised and sat up with me, "Right now?"

"Sort of," I nodded. "Can I use your phone?"

"Of course," he pulled it out and handed it to me. "Is something wrong?"

"No," I smiled at him as the phone rang. "Don't worry." I knew he would be able to hear whatever I said, so I tried to think of how to say something without giving away everything.

"Hi, Bella," Alice chimed into the phone. "What must you tell me?"

I sighed, glad that she didn't already know, "Hi, Alice. I was just hoping you would do me a little favor."

"Sure, what is it?" she asked.

"Could you stay out of my future for a little while?" I winced, waiting for her response. Edward tensed behind me; he didn't like that idea.

"Aw, Bella," she sighed. I knew she hated having any kind of restriction on her power. "How long?"

"Just until the wedding," I begged. "I just have something that I'd like to keep secret until then."

"What is it?" she perked up.

I smiled into the phone, "I would love to tell you. But I don't want your brother to hear about it." Edward let out a little growl, and I shot him a playful glare.

"But I need to see the wedding," she insisted. "I need to make sure that everything I'm deciding on will work like it's supposed to."

I bit my lip and sighed, "Okay, how about until the rehearsal dinner. That'll give me some logical reason to have one if I'm doing this then."

She paused for a second, no doubt rolling her eyes, as Edward smiled. I'd mentioned a few times that I didn't know what the purpose of a rehearsal dinner was when more than half of the wedding party didn't eat. "You're doing something?" she was suspicious.

I was not going to give up anything, "Please, Alice. This is really important to me."

After a moment, she sighed heavily into the phone, "Okay, Bella, I'll stay out until the rehearsal dinner, but that's it."

"Thank you, Alice," I smiled.

"But you know this is killing me," she said.

"I know. That's why it's a favor. If it was something you wanted to do, you'd be doing it already," I shrugged.

"Goodnight, Bella," she grumbled and hung up.

I hung up with a little smile. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and put the phone away. "Is she gonna be mad at me now?"

He shook his head, "Don't worry about Alice. She always preservers."

I turned my body around to face him, and he laid he down on top of him, "What about you? Are you upset?"

I took a deep breath, "Of course not. There's not much you could do to make me upset with you. I'm a little anxious. I'd like to know what the big secret is."

I shook my head, "Uh uh. I'm determined to keep this one a secret. Even from you. It's too good to ruin it."

He didn't say anything, just looked at me like I was some kind of exotic work of art.

"Please, Edward, don't push it. You'll know soon enough," I kissed his neck and felt his fingers in my hair.

"All right," he sighed and reached over to turn off the light. With my head in the crevice of his neck, I closed my eyes and breathed in deep. "Are you tired, Bella?"

"No," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed.

I felt him smile against my cheek, "I don't believe you."

"No," I whined. "Don't let me fall asleep. I want to stay up and talk to you."

"You have forever to talk to me, Bella. Sleep," he whispered and began humming a song I didn't know. I was so proud of myself as I drifted into sleep. I had successfully kept a secret from Edward, and I could just imagine his face when I gave him his perfect wedding present.

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AN: Allright, next chapter, she gives him the "Pig's Blood." Its good times. If I get ten new reviews, I'll post it...or if I get really excited. Whichever happens first.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: All right, here's the last chapter. You guys have been great. This fandom grows so quickly, stuff that gets posted is on, like, the third page two hours after it's posted, so I'm amazed I got any reviews at all! Thanks for your support. Love you guys.

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Holy Crow.

"It's not funny!" I screamed for what felt like the fiftieth time. Everyone just stared at me with expressions ranging from pity to shock to overwhelming humor.

"No," Emmett was the worst, "It's freaking hilarious." He burst out in another fit of laughter. Jasper held a fist to his mouth to prevent him from doing the same. Alice was biting her lip. Rosalie was just shaking her head. Even Carlisle and Esme were having trouble forming coherent sentences.

"Bella," Esme tried, "I'm just a little confused. What exactly did you think..."

Alice let a little laugh escape before slapping a hand to her mouth.

"It's not funny!" I said again.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Alice shook her head. "It's just so..."

She, Emmett, and Jasper laughed. I felt the tears beginning to form and turned to Edward, who was standing silently behind me.

"Shh, Bella," Edward crooned, as he rubbed my arms comfortingly. "It's all right."

"I feel like such an idiot," I sobbed into his shoulder. I heard the rest of them get quiet after that. I guess that made them feel bad. "I just wanted to do something special, but I guess I should know by now; I can't do anything right."

"Bella," I heard Alice's voice, but just continued to sob.

"That isn't true, Bella," Carlisle tried.

"Of course it's not," Edward whispered to me, but it didn't help.

"Hey," Emmett clapped his hands together, "It doesn't have to be a complete waste. Couldn't we smoke it?"

"Emmett!" Rosalie snapped. I dug my head deeper into Edward's shoulder.

"I don't think that's possible," Carlisle said.

"But it couldn't hurt to try," he sounded very upbeat. "And I think it might work. I mean, I know alcohol doesn't work, but that's because it goes into the bloodstream, right? Isn't this stuff all about your brain?" There was a moment's pause. "We have brains!"

"You're being ridiculous," Rosalie said. "Just stop talking about it." I took a deep breath and found that I was no longer crying.

"Are you all right?" Edward brought his face close to mine and wiped under my eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I sighed to him.

He smiled and kissed me, "Don't you dare be sorry. Not for anything. All right? We're getting married tomorrow. That's all that matters."

I tried a smile and laid my head back down on Edward's shoulder, only this time, I turned so that I could see everyone, "Am I ever going to live this down?"

Alice shrugged, "Depends."

"On what?" I asked, desperately.

"On what you do next," she smiled. I sighed and sank into Edward's embrace. "Honey," she came over to me and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Every single one of us has had a slew of embarrassing moments to live down."

"Not like this," I grumbled.

"Not exactly," she shrugged. "But equally embarrassing." The group of them all got very quiet. Even Emmett's face became frighteningly stoic. "For many of them, there are pictures." I smiled a little at that as Edward and Alice chuckled lightly. "And I promise, after we make it through this wedding tomorrow--and as of now, we _will _make it through this wedding tomorrow--I will show you each and every one of them."

Emmett took a little step forward, "You really don't have to do that."

"You really didn't have to make her cry," she retorted, then brought her focus back to me, "Really, Bella, having a horribly embarrassing moment is like a Cullen initiation. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay," I sighed.

Edward kissed my forehead, "Okay. Let's get you home, so you'll be nice and rested for tomorrow."

I turned back to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me with ease and carried me up the stairs to his bedroom. Over Edward's shoulder, I smiled lightly as I saw Emmett tentatively sniff my wedding present to my soul mate: a pound of pure, high quality, "Butch's Butcher's" marijuana.

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AN: Yeah, I've never heard "Pig's Blood" be used as slang for pot either, but, hey, people are crazy. It _could _happen, right?

Anywho, hope you liked it. People who review usually end up having better lives than those who don't...just thought you should know.


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